I am 3 months pregnant with twins. My parents, who are both smokers (my mother is a chain smoker), are so excited. We all are. They keep saying how they can’t wait to set up a room for the babies and start keeping them and having them over, etc, etc. Well, I have a problem with that because of them smoking in the house. My mom already has an attitude because I don’t want her smoking around me while I’m pregnant (She always says "I smoked the whole time I was pregnant with you and your brothers, and you are all fine!" Yeah-not the point.) I don’t smoke and neither does my husband. How can I tell them, without being cruel, that these babies will not be spending the night at their house because of all the cigarette smoke?
My husband is adamant that the babies will not be there very much because of the smoking.
Be calm. Be positive.. Be very, very firm.
I would drop the subject for now. Wait till the babies are here. Then, of course, the babies will be with you for ages while still very young & no babysitting. If your mum starts to insist on ‘time’ with her then just say "No. Sorry, they are too young".
As the children get older you have choices.
1) Just always have an excuse for not letting them over to your parents.
2) When you do ‘visit’ your parents try to go outside the house into the fresh air & not sit inside amongst the smoke.
2) Just straight out tell your parents that studies have shown how harmful passive smoking is around ‘anyone’ let alone new children.
You must remain strong on this but don’t get into heated arguments with your parents. You are the parent of these children & it’s your call. Tell your mum you don’t want to take any chances with your childrens health.
Don’t believe your mum if she ‘promises’ not to smoke aroung the children if they are in her care – she will smoke. Her attitude is very selfish.
Relax & be sure that you have made the right decision. There will be plenty of times to share the children without putting them into danger.